Chocoholism is defined as:
"an eating disorder in which someone suffers from an addiction to chocolate. Chocolate contains theobromines and it may be possible for the human brain to become accustomed to chocolate at regular intervals. Etymologically, "chocoholic" derives directly from alcoholic, though some linguists complain that the word, by construction, implies addiction to "chocohol" rather than "chocolate", suggesting that chocolatic is a more appropriate neologism than chocoholic. Chocolate may be addictive and could impact the health of the chocoholic. Proponents of hypnotherapy claim that "chocoholism" can be treated through aversives, in effect forcing the addict to associate chocolate consumption with negative stimuli used to change behavior."
I have always considered myself a card-carrying chocoholic. But if the linguists prefer, I suppose that I can be a chocolatic (although that sounds more like a laxative). Recently I came across the term chocoholism and I am not quite sure if I qualify. I do know that I am not ready to be "treated through aversives." This is one of those few addictions that one can often indulge in without abandon, shame or fear of an intervention ... usually.
Do you remember that scene from Forest Gump when Bubba talks about shrimp? I swear to god I have the conversation all the time about chocolate. Chocolate Cake. Chocolate Cookies. Chocolate Ice Cream. Chocolate Truffles. Chocolate Pie. Chocolate Chips. Chocolate Chunks. Chocolate Mousse. Chocolate Strawberries. Chocolate Drops. Chocolate Brownie. Chocolate Fudge. Chocolate Wafers. Hot Chocolate... I should stop now as my typing pace begins to reach an orgasmic parallel.
I have read more than one blogger talk about their relationship with chocolate. I thought it important to establish my own chocoholic credibility.
My addiction (I mean affair) with chocolate has been life long. I was an official member of the Laura Secord Club for years (a chocolate chain in Canada) where I was able to get a free chocolate a month and special treats on my birthday because I was such a frequent customer. Not good enough? Stay with me...
My chocolate habit got so bad that about 10 years ago that I actually overdosed, had an extreme reaction and consequently developed a serious intolerance to caffeine. And I am so messed up that I am bragging about this. Big goofy smile on my face as I tap tap tap at the keyboard.
It happened when I was doing my tour of duty in the ad biz and one of our clients was a chocolate manufacturer (not my client - I got to sell antiperspirant, shampoo, cosmetics and canned pasta. Shivers). They were consumer testing a new chocolate bar. Someone at the client heard that there was one of our team (me) who could eat an unbelievable number of chocolate bars in one day without getting sick of it. So they'd send me dozens to try and give my 2 cents on. Thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Turns out there IS too much of a good thing and I had a terribly embarrassing reaction at work - fainting, convulsions, very dramatic. I was taken to the hospital because of my chocolate OD. Credible chocoholic yet? Well just wait...
Following my over-indulgent episode and my "intolerance" being diagnosed, I was told that I'd have to break off my dependent fling with my sweet brown lover. To eat even just a little chocolate and I'd get a headache, loose feeling in my lips and forehead and my stomach would stage a full fledged war. Did that stop me? No. The doctor made the mistake of telling me that sometimes people grow out of an intolerance and their immunity changes. That's all I needed to begin planning a strategy for turning this little no-chocolate situation around. I proceeded to secretly build my tolerance over time in an effort to "cure" myself from this dreaded affliction. Mr. Good Taste would have lost his mind if he knew what I was up too. I bought a bag of chocolate chips and snuck one chocolate chip a day to build up my immunity. At first the reaction was rotten but it got better and after a couple of years (this was some serious dedication I tell ya), I could have 2 chocolate chips and then the triumph of 3. I had to take a break when I was pregnant but then finally about 3 years ago I came out and admitted my back room sneaking and that I had won. I was back in the chocolate covered saddle!
So although I may have established my chocoholic credibility, I am pretty sure in the process, that I've lost all other credibility of being a reasonably sane person.
I still can't manage much more than one chocolate indulgence every day or two without feeling like hell but the girl's back! Now I am battling the effects of my chocolate loving with being a good mom. Easter is killing me. I know it was weeks ago. When I was a kid I devoured it all my chocolately Easter eggs and treats in one sitting. No will power or self control. None. But somehow that gene skipped a generation because my child listens and only eats a little bit each day. I have an office in the house and a flex-time arrangement to work from home most days. Just knowing that Little Sunshine's chocolate is downstairs is torture. Leaving me in a cold sweat about whether to steal from my child and just devour it all. Usually I don't keep chocolate in the house for this very reason.
The most terribly ironic part of all of this is that I am a bit of a health nut outside of my chocolate issue. I'm a vegetarian who eats mostly organic, takes vitamins, eats little processed foods, and goes to a naturopathic doctor regularly. Yet I will never accepted carob as a viable substitute. More like a communist plot.
Maybe I do need an intervention...
